The Perfect Job for Me

I was spending way too much time on the internet this weekend and I saw an ad for "Life Coaching". I've heard about life coaches before, but hadn't really given it much thought...until now. Wikipedia defines life coaching as:

"a practice with the aim of helping clients determine and achieve personal goals. Life coaches use multiple methods that will help clients with the process of setting and reaching goals... Life coaching also draws inspiration from disciplines including sociology, psychology, positive adult development, career counseling, mentoring, and other types of counseling. The coach may apply mentoring, values assessment, behavior modification, behavior modeling, goal-setting, and other techniques in helping their clients."

And it hit me...this is the perfect job for me! No one is better than me at assessing someone else's lot in life and quickly identifying the problem and/or solution. I am a veritable wealth of health, parenting, friendship and marriage advice. I am wise beyond my years. As my precious youngest daughter used to say emphatically, "You KNOW things, Mommy!" And I do! I have either personally experienced it, know someone who did it, or have read a book about it. This coupled with my spiritual gift of discernment (or paranoia, as Joel likes to call it) gives me the credentials to be the ideal life coach. I've known for a long time that if people would just listen to me, the world would be a happier place. If they'd just give ear to my misgivings, they'd save themselves a lot of heartache. If they'd just heed my advice, they wouldn't get themselves into so many predicaments. Now, I do try to refrain from being the nosy old lady in Wal-Mart who makes it her job to tell you that your baby is yellow because you feed him too much squash or that double-breasted suits really look better on "slimmer fellows". I mean, that's just rude. But the way I see it is, I'm here to help you. Why waste all this wisdom and common sense? Its been said that people don't appreciate things as much unless there's a cost involved. So, if I charge for my services as a life coach, then everyone wins! People get the benefit of my expertise without feeling they've taken advantage of me and I am compensated for my effort for, alas, it is a heavy load I bear. **sigh**