Friday, September 26, 2008

Famous Last Words

Yesterday I went through the drive-thru of a favorite restaurant for my sweet tea fix. When the oh-so-nice man in the window handed me my drink, he asked, "Do you need any napkins with that?" "No, thank you," I replied and thought to myself that the fast food chain must be trying to become more eco-friendly by cutting back on its use of paper products. That's fine. Who needs napkins with sweet tea anyway? Famous last words...
As I pulled out into the traffic flow of a major thoroughfare here in my quaint little hometown, Dale Jr. came racing down the straitaway forcing me to accelerate quickly to get out of the way. (Ok, so it wasn't really Dale, Jr., because if it was, I would have let him crash into me so I could get an autograph and maybe a year's supply of Amp.) The point being Bubba didn't realize that Main St. is not the Texas Motor Speedway. Anyway, can you guess what happened? My precious sweet-tea-nectar-of-life spilled all over the passenger seat of my blessed little Jeep! And of course, I had no napkins.

This reminded me of other times in my life when flippant quips have become "famous last words." Such as the time my inspection sticker had expired on my vehicle. My oh-so-thoughtful colleagues at the time suggested I take the afternoon off to renew it. "No, No, thanks. I'm going on a trip tomorrow and I'll get it done in the morning before I leave town." Famous last words...
I volunteered to make the lunch run to pick up food for everyone and on the way back to work, only a few yards from my destination, the friendly Man-in-Blue pulled me over and gave me a gentle reminder on a pink piece of paper that the state of Texas does not look kindly on letting your car inspection sticker expire, not even if it is only 28 days past the renewal date.

And then there was the time when I boasted about having never locked my keys in my car. Famous last words...
Over the next two months, I proceeded to lock them in 3 times. Not just once, not twice, three times! And one of those times just happened to be at a gas station on Christmas morning. Bah! Humbug! Who knew Mr. Scrooge was a locksmith?

The ultimate has to be when my husband and I swore we would never return to our hometown except on holidays. Its a nice enough place, we just wanted to raise our children in a metropolitan area where there's more to do on weekends than cruise up and down Main St with an occasional pass through the Sonic. Oh, no. We will never move back there. Famous last words...
God really has a sense of humor, doesn't He? Yep. Here were are. Right back where we started. Our children are being taught by teachers who taught us in school. I've discovered that driving 25 miles to the nearest Target is easier than it sounds. And most importantly, I've learned not to talk ugly about people, because someone who's related to them is probably sitting in the booth next to you at the Dairy Queen.

So who was it that said, "Let your words be soft and sweet, because tomorrow you may have to eat them."? I suppose a glass of sweet tea would help them go down a bit easier. But this time, yes, please may I have some napkins?

1 comment:

Kimberly said...

Teehee! Great post. The main thing I ever miss about a larger town is Target!