"Ears" Lookin' at You

You know the old wives tale that says if your ears are burning, someone is talking about you? If there is any merit in that whatsoever, then I have been quite the topic of conversation somewhere lately.

On Tuesday, I noticed the lymph node under my right ear was a bit swollen. On Wednesday, it was worse and also very tender to the touch, so I went to see the doctor. She did a cursory exam and said I appeared to have some fluid in the eustacian tube and prescribed a five day round of antibiotics.

On Thursday, the swelling had worsened enough that it was visible. The entire right side of my neck and down into my shoulder hurt. And for some strange reason, my ear lobe began to swell. By last night, I was miserable. I kept the heating pad on my neck, took ibuprofen and tried to make myself comfortable.

So this morning, I'm three days into my five day regime of antibiotics and should be well on the road to recovery. But I'm not...the lymph node has improved a little, maybe, but is still extremely swollen and tender. And now, my ear lobe! Its huge! It is so swollen, it is almost perpendicular to my head! Its freakish. I took pictures of it so you could see it. Otherwise, you might never believe me. I also took one of my left ear to prove that I am not normally prone to large, protruding ear lobes. Beware, the following images are quite graphic and may not be suitable for young children.

See? Left ear. Perfectly normal.

Right ear. Freakishly large.

I do have a call in to the doctor, since this is Friday. I would hate to have my ear lobe rupture over the weekend. The swelling in the lymph node is pronounced enough that I have trouble turning my head, but at least its not disfiguring. This ear thing, on the other hand, might keep me from venturing out in public for fear of being shunned like the Elephant Man.

So back to the wives' tale. I cannot imagine what I could have possibly done that would warrant someone talking about me to the point that my ear would not only burn, but become inflamed and swell up like a cherry tomato. Whatever it was, I'm sorry. So sorry. Could you please send a few kind words my way now? Cool, soothing, balm-like words...thank you. Thank you very much.