Monday, January 19, 2009


***Disclaimer: I like my blog posts to be like a TV sitcom. Clever and entertaining with the storyline neatly tied up at the end. I'm afraid this one is more like C-Span coverage. But I needed to do it for myself. And I certainly understand if you want to change the channel. I promise not to make it a habit.***

I've mentioned before that I'm not into New Year's Resolutions because of my near perfect record of breaking every single one I've ever made, but thanks to my recent *brush with death* I've been doing some soul searching and some things are just gonna have to change. They just must.

I'm in my pre-teen 30's (30+ 11, which is considered a pre-teen in my estimation). My mom was about this age when I was about Hallie's age. And to the best of my only-child recollection (read: totally unaware of anything that didn't have a direct impact on my immediate happiness), it was about this time in her life that she first began having health issues. She'd struggled with weight, and maybe some other things I didn't know about, but nothing terribly serious until her early-to-mid 40's when she was diagnosed with diabetes. And I remember the doctor saying, "Even if diabetes is well-controlled, it still takes a toll on your body over the years."

When I was thirteen, my mother had a triple-bypass. I was in the eighth grade, the age HannahKate is right now. It's sobering to remember how my life changed from assuming my mother would always be there to wondering if she'd see me graduate from high school.

Enough with the doom and gloom, though. I've come to the realization that I must take better care of myself and my family. I. simply. must. I'm so sick of hearing about "diet and exercise". Probably because I know its true, but it requires so many characteristics that I lack: discipline, willpower, and motivation just to name a few.

I wish I could say that I have a fast-track plan and the whole-hearted support and cooperation of my family. I wish I could say that its just a matter of making up my mind to eat healthy and exercise regularly. I wish I could say that I will not be discouraged by the whining, complaining and arguing voiced by my kids about what we will and will not eat. (I REALLY wish there wouldn't be any whining, complaining or arguing...but that's definitely pushing it.)

But I can't say any of those things. All I can do is bring this burden to the Lord and bathe it in prayer. I don't mean that to sound preachy, over dramatic or holier-than-thou. I mean that I understand that, short of His supernatural intervention, I am destined to fail.

One of my constant prayers for my church is that God would move in such a way that no person or persons could conceivably take credit. A move that can only be "explained" by the Holy Spirit...that even skeptics shake their heads in wonder. And I don't believe I'm exaggerating when I say that it will take this same kind of movement in my life and the lives of my family if we are going to defy heredity.

So I'm praying. Praying, praying, praying...


Ronnica said...

For some of the same reasons, I'm dealing with getting my weight down as well. I'm not particularly gung-ho about it, but I think that's okay. I'm not looking for some quick fix, but a real lifestyle change. I NEED this.

Jerilyn said...

Though I have never had to deal with weight, I definatly have a demon that has followed me for 30 years..smoking. Just in December I watched my mother be in the hospital twice, once from breathing problems and then having a heart attach on New Years Eve, I thought I was fixing to loose a women that means everything to me. My mom has always been healthy and has not had to deal much with the weight issue..but again a smoker. She has quit Thank God..of course my family talks to me about it..I am not strong..but I have told them, I know it is a decision I need to make but, it is between me & those cigerettes and we will make the deal together and if I am harbored about it, it will just make me want to smoke more. You have your sights where you want them, its a personal thing between you, God and the goals you want to reach..I wish you well with your adventure..prayer, prayer, prayer!

tracey fields said...

Girl- I'm on the same train. I lost 25 lbs this year and gained the same 25 the same year. LOSER. anyway- i do PLAN to start soon....back to Weight Watchers for me...and the bike that all of my clothes are currently resting on..oh- and no Coke.