Friday, August 1, 2008

13 Years Ago...

13 years ago tonight...I was in NRH hospital enjoying a delicious salisbury steak. (No sarcasm intended, really it was wonderful)
13 years ago tonight...I was attempting to calm my nerves and prepare for the life-changing drama that was about to occur to next day.
13 years ago tonight...I was beginning to realize that, one way or another, "this baby had to come out" and neither "way" seemed appealing.
13 years ago tonight...I was trying to sweet-talk the nurse into calling for an epidural.
13 years ago tonight...I missed my mother so much my heart ached.
13 years ago tonight...I was so thankful for Joel and his words of comfort.
13 years ago tonight...I was wondering, "What in the world were we thinking? We don't know anything about babies!"
13 years ago tonight...I fretted that the sonograms might have been wrong and our baby boy would have to wear pink for the first year of his life.
13 years ago tonight...I panicked because we hadn't decided on a boy's middle name in the event that the sonograms were wrong.
13 years ago tonight...I realized how much I loved my husband and how glad I was that we were in this thing together.
13 years ago tonight...I sensed that the world as we knew it was about to turn upside down.
13 years ago tonight...I tried to imagine what she would look like. Hair or no? Crooked fingers like mine? Brown eyes like her daddy's?
13 years ago tonight...I prayed like never before that God would give us wisdom and insight into how to care for not only her physical needs, but also her emotional and spiritual needs.
13 years ago tonight...I was scared out of my wits.
13 years ago tonight...I had absolutely no idea of what to expect the next day, much less the days, weeks, months and years ahead.

Its hard to believe that its been 13 years. And while I no longer have to worry about whether the sonograms were wrong, I still don't know what to expect tomorrow, or next month or next year. I still miss my mother and wish she was here to enjoy HannahKate. I'm still incredibly thankful that Joel and I are in this thing together. I'm still scared out of my wits and therefore pray each day that God will continue to give us wisdom to raise both our girls to be Godly young women.

Happy birthday, HannahKate! Here's to another 13...

1 comment:

Paige Thompson Shepherd said...

Denyse, you are an absolutely wonderful mother, as I look to you for wisdom with my own parenting. You have raised 2 wonderful daughters and you are very lucky to have Joel next to you in that. You are a God loving woman and that is such a reflection in your girls...so here is to you as a mother!!, your girls continuing to be followers of Him and your wisdom!!, and to HannahKate being 13..crazy!!!! what a great day!