Sometimes, Life's Not Fair: Part 3

Previously, in "Sometimes, Life's Not Fair":

Part 1

Part 2

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Today, BigJoel is here.

The Las Vegas Strip.

Today, I am here.

The Interstate That Runs Through Hometown.

Yep....

PRIDE

Tonight we went to "Meet the Teacher" night at Hometown High School because HannahKate is now a Freshman. It was extremely odd to walk the halls of HHS again and I almost got whiplash from the way I was thrown twenty (or so) years back in time. This particular campus was built/completed while BigJoel and I were still students. He was in the first group of Freshmen to attend all four years at "the new school". So it was fun meeting HannahKate's teachers, while reminiscing about having class in some of the very same rooms. As a matter of fact, HanK even has one of the same teachers that her daddy had. (All I can say is that poor woman has been around for-ev-er!) Joel's observation tonight was, "Gosh, this place doesn't seem nearly as big as I remember it."

While touring the school, I saw this sign outside one of the bathroom doors. It made me giggle just a bit. When I saw it the second time, I just had to have a picture. Seriously? Potty Pride? Sounds like an episode of Barney instead of high school, if you ask me. Anyway, since Blogger seems to be cooperating tonight, I wanted to share the picture. A little odd, but definitely some good points to keep in mind...

I guess we should always remember to take PRIDE in everything we do.

Talk About Your Slow Service

The following is a "web exclusive" from the online edition of the Hometown Herald.

[HOMETOWN] — The drive-thru of the [Hometown] Whataburger at 6400 [Main] Street was closed for nearly an hour when a man fell asleep at the ordering box Friday morning. Whataburger employees said they called the police after the man blocked the lane with his car and appeared to be asleep at around 12:30 a.m. [Hometown] police removed the man and transported him to the County Justice Center. The lane remained blocked until a tow truck could move the vehicle.

Honestly. I did not make this up. The man FELL ASLEEP while waiting in line at Whataburger. I must admit that the service is so slow at our Whataburger that I've caught myself dozing a time or two, but at least I can be roused from my catnap when the speaker blasts, "Do you want fries with that?"

I've said it before...some posts just write themselves...

Ticked Off Tuesday

Here's a new thread...its called Ticked Off Tuesdays or TOTs.
I try to be positive about most things and I think I do a relatively good job of seeing my glass half-full instead of half-empty. But those who know me know that my greatest fear is that as I get older, I will lose the decorum I work so hard to maintain and become the grouchy lady in the nursing home who alternates between singing Amazing Grace at the top of my voice and spewing profanity at my caregivers.
In an attempt to avoid this, I've decided that maybe its okay to vent a little now and then to blow of some of that steam before I just erupt like Mt. St. Helen. But since I tend to do everything in excess, I'm limiting myself to one rant per week, hence the title "Ticked Off Tuesday".
Here's my first one:

Recently, Hometown decided to allow liquor sales in grocery and convenience stores within the city limits. I realize this may sound odd to some, but for as long as I can remember, we have been a "dry" town. Its not so much that I have a problem with the new legislation, its just that all of our stores and gas stations were not designed to accommodate both alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages. Now that they are all scrambling to "retro-fit" their space to allow for beer and wine, it is almost impossible to find just a plain Diet Coke.

Every convenience store in town now stocks the glass wall of refrigerators with 42 different kinds of beer and wine. We're rednecks for heaven's sake, do we really need so many choices? I say, just pick the one with the shiniest can or the NASCAR endorsement and everyone will be satisfied.

The worst part is that all the sodas have been banished to small, portable refrigerated units in the back corner of the store. Honestly, I went into one place yesterday where my choices were Coke, Diet Coke, Dr. Pepper, Diet DP and 7up. Seriously. Every other beverage in the store was alcoholic. And to make matters even worse, they were OUT of Diet Coke!

However, the icing on the cake, or perhaps the olive in the martini, has to be that they took the McDonald's out of Wal-Mart in order to make room for beer and wine. When my kids were little I'd get them fries and a sprite from McDonald's because it was located at the back of the store where I begin my grocery routine. It bought me just enough time to get the items on my list without any weeping, wailing or gnashing of teeth. Boy, am I glad my girls are old enough now that I can go while they're in school so I don't have to explain that Happy Meals have been replaced with Happy Hour!

So there you have it. The first installment of Ticked Off Tuesdays. I don't know if it will be a regular feature, but you're welcomed to play along. What ticks you off?

Sometimes Life's Not Fair: Part 2

Go here to see Part 1.

Big Joel is here today.

Hawaii.

Those are sea turtles in the surf in case you couldn't tell.

I am here today.

Hometown.

Those are cow patties in the pasture in case you couldn't tell.

*sigh*

**double sigh**

Cancel My Subscription

Here in Hometown, people sometimes "take out an ad" in the local newspaper to celebrate a birthday ("Oh my wordy, Look who's 30!" or "Lordy, Lordy! Bubba's 40!") or to announce a baby's arrival (who needs to send frilly-froo-froo cards on fancy paper when newsprint works just as well and you don't have to buy stamps). These usually appear on page 3 right next to the obituaries. In a town who's population is smaller than the enrollment of the university I attended, this is just one more way we make sure everyone knows everyone else's business. We're fun that way.
But the thing that I just do.not.understand is when people put an "ad" in the paper for a deceased loved one on their birthday or perhaps the anniversary of their passing. Sometimes its in the form of a letter: Dear Momma, We will never forget you. Love, Your Children. Sometimes its a poem about the day you became an angel or you may be gone, but your memory lives on. Now, please don't think I'm insensitive to the heartbreaking loss of a loved one. Its just that...honestly, do these people think "Momma" is actually reading the Hometown Herald? Do they believe that all our loved ones meet for coffee at the Dairy Queen in the Sky and say things like, "Did you see the lovely sentiment Pearl's family put in the paper?" or "My children wrote the sweetest poem about me spending Christmas with Jesus this year!"? I just don't believe that's the way Heaven works. Like my friend Bart says, "I'd like to think my [loved one] has more to do than sit around and peek through the clouds at me all day...like worship the Living God." So here is my admonition to my family: Say what you want to say to me while I'm here on earth. And when I'm gone, you can cancel my subscription to the Hometown Herald. I won't be reading it anymore.

Sometimes, Life's Just Not Fair

Big Joel is here today.
Alaska.

I am here today. Hometown.

Yes, those are prison inmates with haybales.

*sigh*

The Best of the Best in Hometown, Texas

Today, our local newspaper published a section called "Reader's Choice: The Best of the Best". Area residents submitted their votes for businesses/people, etc. they deem the most worthy of recognition in certain categories. For example, the "award" for Best Family Entertainment went to the local bowling alley, followed by the movie theater. Some of the other Best awards included: Best Doctor, Best Fries, Best Builder, Best Italian Food, Best Funeral Home (Are you kidding me?), Best Hair Stylist (Mine did not make the list, so I must file a protest, because she is absolutely adorable and she keeps me from having a "brown helmet" hairstyle like Sally Field in Steel Magnolias.) and Best Oil Change, just to name a few. Big Joel and I had plenty of giggles at our own expense, as well as the members of our community. But the thing that made me laugh out loud, the best of the Best of the Best, if you will, were the "winners" in the Best Place to See and Be Seen category. Are you ready for this...
The Best Place to See and Be Seen in "Hometown", Texas (drum roll, please)
#1. Main Street Winery(not its real name, but if you're a stalker reading this, I don't want you looking me up)
and...
#2. WAL-MART!!!!
So I ask myself, "Has it come to this? My social circuit revolves around Wal-Mart?" I admit that each Monday morning when I'm doing my shopping for the week, I keep a running list of People I See and Speak To, as well as People I See and Hide From. I text the totals to my friend Johanna, who understands my dark side, and knows that I'm not trying to be rude. I'm simply trying to avoid uncomfortable situations and also keep my milk from spoiling.
Then, the other question that comes to mind is, "If this is the place to see and be seen, why don't people take more care in their appearance? Like maybe, put in your false teeth and put on a bra?" I will concede that I am usually spotted in workout clothes. But that's to give people the illusion that I'm not only caring for the needs of my family, but that I'm also health conscious and have either just come from the gym, or plan to go there after I put away my groceries and before I start the afternoon carpool rounds. However, since I don't frequent the Winery, perhaps I should put a better foot forward when it comes to my public appearances. Maybe now that the word is out about Wal-Mart being the "hot spot" in town, paparazzi will be hiding in the produce section. Yes. Yes, I must remember to check my lipstick from now on...