I Hate It When...

I just need to get a few things off my chest. Here goes:

I hate it when I go into a home improvement store with a project in mind thinking I either know what I need or I'll know it when I see it, only to become so confused and indecisive that I leave with nothing I originally came for.

I hate it when I choose to leave my rain coat in the car even though there's a thunderstorm warning in effect and it starts to pour down rain while I'm inside said home improvement store.

I hate it when paint looks really good on the little card; but the minute the man mixes it, I know it's not the color I need.

I hate it when BigJoel is in another country, another hemisphere even, and I can't call him at every whim--like to ask his opinion on the bad paint color or just to hear his voice and tell him I love him.

I hate it when they have forty varieties of feta cheese at the grocery store, but the only reduced fat version is in block form--not crumbles.

Ok, I think I may have gone a little too far with that last one, and I especially hate it when people complain all. the. time.  So here are some things I love:

I love it when my lesson plan takes a detour because I'm having an interesting, intelligent discussion with my students and I'm reminded of why I enjoy teaching.

I love it when I have a standing lunch date with a good friend every Tuesday.  She always makes my day.

I love it when I go into a store looking for one thing and find an unexpected bargain.

These darling lamp shades were just $.71 each! I don't even really need new lamp shades; but at $4.61 for six of them, I couldn't pass it up.

I love it when I find a new favorite snack that is virtually guilt-free, but so yummy.

A Claussen pickle spear with a few tiny crumbles of goat cheese wrapped in two thin slices of deli roast beef--wowsers!

I love it when I have just a few minutes to sit in my quiet house and listen to the rain outside.

I love it when a necklace and a shirt go together perfectly even though I bought them at different times.

And, even though I'm jealous, I love it that BigJoel is getting to see a wonderful place that I've always wanted to go...
because I also love it when he tells me stories about the places he's gone, the people he's met and the things he's seen.

Most of all, I love it that my blessings (even small ones) far outweigh the things I complain about.  Always.

More or Less

I haven't done an official installment of "Ticked Off Topics" in a while, but yesterday we went shopping and this post began forming in my head.

Since Hometown's mall is somewhat lacking in the latest fashions, we ventured "across the bridges" to the Big City to see if we could find HannahKate some spring/summer clothes. I seriously worry about the child because when she's not wearing standardized dress for school, she is wearing dark jeans and a black t-shirt of some sort. Always. Its one thing for her dad to dress that way~he works for a band. But its another thing for her to look like a roadie-in-training. But I digress...

Anyway, on to our shopping trip. Let me first say, that as the older I get, the less I like people, er, I mean crowds. The first store we went to was so crowded that the sales attendants had to carry around a sign on a stick that said, "I work here. Ask me for help." Needless to say, claustrophobia and the fact that they had already sold out of $1 flip-flops made that foray unprofitable.

The next store we went to had adorable outfits in the windows. We'd been there once before and I wasn't impressed, but not being one to hold a grudge, I wanted to give them a second chance. Oh. my. word. As we rifled through the articles of clothing, I was amazed at how small the sizes seemed to run. HannahKate has an atheletic build. She is just the right size for her height and bone structure. She is not, however, an XS, S or M...especially when the clothing manufacturer must have used malnourished pygmies as their guide to sizing. Sheesh! So~fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me and now we know to never waste our time at that store again.

Next we ventured to a Name-Brand Teenage-y Store (but not the one with all the naked boys in their advertising). Here, we were awarded a small victory~one pair of capris and a cute top. Thank you, Lord. This was also the time when I was reminded of how thankful I am that not only is HanK relatively unconcerned with the variety of her wardrobe, she is also extremely modest.

And that brings me around to my Ticked Off Topic (finally, you say). It should not be so difficult for a teenage girl to find clothing that is not too short, too tight, too low-cut or too see-thru. According to my observation, the smaller the amount of fabric used in an item, the higher the price. Why are we paying more money to get less clothing?

And to think, we were only shopping for shorts. I dread what it will be like when we have to find a bathing suit! When that time comes, dark jeans and a black shirt might not be such a bad thing after all...

A Relative, a Friend, and a Dose of Sarcasm

This "Ticked Off Topic" post may be a bit out of place, what with everyone in the Christmas spirit and all, but its been simmering for a while on a back burner and today the pot boiled over.

A few months ago, my friend posted on her Facebook status that all three of her children had been sick with the flu. A "Relative" of hers commented "That is why I'm so thankful that my kids are in a Christian school where the principal prays over them every day." Really? So kids in Christian schools don't get the flu? Someone call the CDC! I wanted to reply to the "Relative" that my children are Salt and Light in the public school system and still remain freakishly healthy despite the fact that their principals probably don't pray over them. As a matter of fact, this is the first year our family has even taken the flu shot (and that was under duress); yet we have never had the flu and the girls have not missed one day of school due to illness this year. But I didn't want to sound condemning or judgmental by calling out the "Relative" for all of Facebook to see, so instead I just texted my friend with some snide remarks (which she totally appreciated, by the way, because she couldn't believe that someone would actually infer that her kids were sickly because they didn't attend Christian school.) And that's why she's my friend...but I digress.

More recently, I've listened in dumbstruck awe as people have proclaimed their outrage over the phrase "Happy Holidays". I understand the premise~the fear that if we stop saying "Merry Christmas" we will eventually forget the Reason for the Season. But must we really launch a vigilante campaign? I've heard local radio stations boast that they are "keeping Christ in Christmas" (as the intro to "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" begins playing). And today, Joel shared with me a "Friend's" post on Facebook about how when a waitress told him "Happy Holidays", he withdrew her tip and said, "Merry Christmas". Ironically, he left out the part about how the waitress realized the error of her ways, recognized that Jesus loves her, and prayed to receive Christ right there in the Waffle House...Seriously? He withdrew her tip and identified himself as a Christian...beautiful. I'm sure Jesus did a celebratory fist pump over that point-well-made.

I apologize if I've been totally irreverent. It just escapes me how sometimes as Christians, we parade around with a banner of moral superiority and then shake our heads in disbelief when the World rejects our message. I just cannot believe that if Jesus physically walked among us today, He would only protect children in Christian schools and reprimand waitresses who unknowingly offended Him. I think the "Relative" and the "Friend" might be quite surprised by Jesus' reactions to their situations.

Of course, the "Sarcastic Blogger" would probably be surprised as well...

A Tall Tale

This week's "Ticked Off Topic" is dedicated to all the vertically challenged folks out there. I do not necessarily think of myself as being short. I am about 5'3-ish. When buying pants, this means that "Petite" sizes are too short after one wash, but regular sizes still have to be hemmed about 5". When attending concerts, it means tall people gravitate to the space directly in front of me. Always.

A few weeks ago, we went to Denver for Elizabeth's Big Birthday Roadtrip. While there, we went to see Rain: A Beatle's Tribute at the performing arts center. The production was amazing. The venue was amazing. Except for one thing~the Freakishly Tall Man sitting right in front of me. Even though he was one row/level/step below me, he was still taller than me and so I spent the entire evening leaning on Paige so I could see around the Jolly Green Giant.

This past weekend, BigJoel scored us some tickets to see Family Force 5 at the House of Blues. (In case you didn't know, the House of Blues is, for all intents and purposes, a bar. And I took my 14 and 9 year old daughters. I might just be Mom of the Year. But I digress...) Anyway, it was "general admission standing room only", which really means "short people need not bother". At first we had a pretty good view, but then the Daughter of the Freakishly Tall Man from Denver arrived and pushed her way in front of us. Here is a picture from Elizabeth's camera of the back of tall girl's head. Did I mention that she parked herself di-rect-ly in front of me? Notice how she stands "head and shoulders" above the rest of the crowd. The good news is, she was only there for the opening bands and left before FF5 took the stage.

Having an obstructed view at a general admission show where you got the tickets for free is one thing. But now let me tell you about the long-awaited U2 concert at the new Cowboys Stadium. We did not get these tickets for free, but our seats were reasonably good. The opening band, Muse, was much better than I had expected and I got lots of great pictures. When U2 took the stage, naturally everyone was on their feet cheering and waving and singing along. The couple in front of us were especially excited. They kept jumping up and down hugging each other. It reminded me of contestants on The Price is Right. After the first few songs, people started to relax a bit and sit down. (Thank goodness) But not the happy couple in front of me...nooooooo...now they had linked arms and were swaying back and forth like they were singing drinking songs in an Irish pub. Eventually, every person in our entire section sat down to enjoy the show. Every person except~you guessed it~the pair right, directly, exactly in front of me. Here's my view:

Only it was worse, because they weren't just standing there. They were either jumping up and down or swaying back and forth...the whole time...the entire time. And do you know that U2 does an amazing show that lasts almost two hours? That's right. Two hours. Behind these people. Come to think of it, the problem wasn't that they were tall. The problem is that they were rude. I understand they paid good money for their seats. But SEATS is the operative word here...which implies that one SITS. They could have paid a lot less money for standing room on the floor, but instead my "rights" to a comfortable chair took a back seat to their rights to "act a fool". They never once stopped jumping or swaying to look around and see that everyone else was seated, and yet still enjoying the concert just as much. Except for me...because all I could see was them...NOT the ground-breaking, multi-million dollar production by one of the greatest bands of all time.

So I started out blasting tall people, which really isn't fair. Tall people can't help being tall any more than I can help being 5'3-ish. The real culprits here are inconsiderate people. Yet, in my experience, most inconsiderate people seem to be pretty tall as well. I'm just sayin'...

Auuuughhhhh!

A while back, I started a thread called TOTs, Ticked Off Tuesdays. I was afraid that once I gave myself license to complain via the blog-o-sphere, I might go a little overboard; so I decided to limit myself to one "crazy" per week. However, this Tuesday timeline is not working out for me. As a matter of fact, Tuesdays usually seem to be pretty good days. Therefore, I've decided to change the topic to "Ticked Off Topics" so now I can rant any day of the week. Consider yourself warned.

And here we go...*ahem*

Today's topic is (dun, dun, duuunnnn) standardized dress at Hometown ISD (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!) When our school district first instituted standardized dress four years ago, I have to admit I did not have a strong opinion on it one way or the other. At first, it wasn't so bad. Hannah wasn't particularly fond of it, but Hallie thought it was the best thing ever. She was so cute in her little jumpers with long socks and mary jane shoes. And it didn't take long for HannahKate to settle in to the routine of khaki pants and a polo shirt every. single. day.

Now, however, it is a much different story at our house. Can we just say that Hallie will only be able to pull off the jumper-long-sock-school-girl look for, maybe, the remainder of fourth grade? After that, it's no longer cute and they no longer make jumpers in her size.

Which leads us to the next dilemma~tucking in the shirt. Really, who tucks anymore? I know I don't. I understand the reason for the tucking rule. Its those dang hoodlums who wear their pants 12 sizes too big and shirts that come down to their knees in order to cover up the "sag" in their jeans (or the weapon they're concealing). However, for a child like Hallie, there is no such thing as a pair of pants 12 sizes too big. And its pretty much impossible to find a shirt that comes down to her knees. And let's just be honest and say, it is not attractive when she tucks her shirt in. I suppose I could make peace with the dress code if they would simply allow shirts of a reasonable length to be untucked.

And "reasonable" is the operative word here...

The thing is this: our district had a dress code in place before standardized dress, but it was enforced in a haphazard, subjective way. Standardized dress was supposed to clear all of that up. My children, along with most of the other students in HISD, would be properly dressed and operate well within the confines of a much more lenient policy. However, in order to control the small population who's parents don't know or don't care what their children are wearing, the rest of our children are subject to unreasonable and unneccessary requirements.

By no means am I opposed to a dress code that prohibits gang affiliation or promotes modest dress in order to curtail distractions throughout the school day. But as I watched students filing out of the high school yesterday, it struck me that you cannot mandate morality.

*****************

Ok, so here's the thing now: I've been working on this post over a week now trying to tie it up neatly and get out with some sense of closure. But I can't. And today, my nine-year-old gets in the car with a warning from the guidance counselor about the necessity of socks. Socks! Hallie wore a polo underneath a sweatshirt (the loophole in the tucking rule), a skort, leggings and zebra print ballet flats. We knew we were pushing the envelope with black/white shoes, but apparently the greater offense was that she was not wearing socks with her dress shoes. Apparently you are required to wear socks until you are in the seventh grade. At that time, however, zebra print shoes are no longer acceptable because its too difficult to tell if they are black with white stripes or white with black stripes.

Like I said, I'm not opposed to a reasonable dress code...but what do socks have to do with gang prevention and modest dress?!?! Sheesh! I'm just gonna hit "Publish Post" before I say something I'll regret.

TOTs (on Wednesday)

I know its Wednesday, but yesterday on Tuesday, I had nothing about which to complain. I thought I'd skip the weekly installment of Ticked Off Tuesdays. But this evening, something so ludicrous happened that I had to write about it to keep my head from exploding.

There is a medication I've been taking for about 13 years now. Every six months or so I have bloodwork done to determine the appropriate dosage. When I went to the doctor this week, my levels were a little high, so she wanted to change the dose. She faxed the "new" prescription to the pharmacy.

This evening when I went to pick up the medicine, I noticed that it was the generic brand. I mentioned to the pharmacist, "I'm supposed to have the name brand, not generic on this." He checked his records and informed me that the prescription specified "No Generic Substitution".....*long pause, puzzled look, deep breath* ....to which I said, "Exactly, you've given me the generic substitution." He said, "I can give you the name brand, but your insurance won't pay for it because the doctor didn't word the prescription correctly."

Can you understand my frustration? Its not really a new prescription,
just a change in the dosage...
Of the same medication...
That I've been taking...
For thirteen years!

The doctor specified "no generic substitution", yet that evidently is not specific enough for the insurance company. So what, may I ask, does the doctor need to say instead of "no generic substitution"? Are you ready for the response? "Brand Name Required" Are you freakin' kidding me?!

What in Merriam Webster's name is the difference between "no generic substitution" and "brand name required"? If you can't substitute with the generic formula, wouldn't that imply you must use the name brand? Isn't that the same thing as a requirement?

Now I do want to go on record saying that I was very nice to the pharmacist. I was patient and told him not to worry, I would call the doctor tomorrow to get it all straightened out. I did not create a scene and say something like, "I'm leaving on a MISSION TRIP in a few days! I'm going to share JESUS with ORPHANS in PERU and I don't have time to argue symantics!" Because you know how much I hate it when Christians behave badly in public... I kept my "composure" in the store, but I was already "composing" my blog inside my head by the time I made it to the car.

And this, my friends, is a perfect example of why I created "Ticked Off Tuesdays".

Ticked Off Tuesday

Here's a new thread...its called Ticked Off Tuesdays or TOTs.
I try to be positive about most things and I think I do a relatively good job of seeing my glass half-full instead of half-empty. But those who know me know that my greatest fear is that as I get older, I will lose the decorum I work so hard to maintain and become the grouchy lady in the nursing home who alternates between singing Amazing Grace at the top of my voice and spewing profanity at my caregivers.
In an attempt to avoid this, I've decided that maybe its okay to vent a little now and then to blow of some of that steam before I just erupt like Mt. St. Helen. But since I tend to do everything in excess, I'm limiting myself to one rant per week, hence the title "Ticked Off Tuesday".
Here's my first one:

Recently, Hometown decided to allow liquor sales in grocery and convenience stores within the city limits. I realize this may sound odd to some, but for as long as I can remember, we have been a "dry" town. Its not so much that I have a problem with the new legislation, its just that all of our stores and gas stations were not designed to accommodate both alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages. Now that they are all scrambling to "retro-fit" their space to allow for beer and wine, it is almost impossible to find just a plain Diet Coke.

Every convenience store in town now stocks the glass wall of refrigerators with 42 different kinds of beer and wine. We're rednecks for heaven's sake, do we really need so many choices? I say, just pick the one with the shiniest can or the NASCAR endorsement and everyone will be satisfied.

The worst part is that all the sodas have been banished to small, portable refrigerated units in the back corner of the store. Honestly, I went into one place yesterday where my choices were Coke, Diet Coke, Dr. Pepper, Diet DP and 7up. Seriously. Every other beverage in the store was alcoholic. And to make matters even worse, they were OUT of Diet Coke!

However, the icing on the cake, or perhaps the olive in the martini, has to be that they took the McDonald's out of Wal-Mart in order to make room for beer and wine. When my kids were little I'd get them fries and a sprite from McDonald's because it was located at the back of the store where I begin my grocery routine. It bought me just enough time to get the items on my list without any weeping, wailing or gnashing of teeth. Boy, am I glad my girls are old enough now that I can go while they're in school so I don't have to explain that Happy Meals have been replaced with Happy Hour!

So there you have it. The first installment of Ticked Off Tuesdays. I don't know if it will be a regular feature, but you're welcomed to play along. What ticks you off?