The Little Blue Men in My Head

Ok, you're gonna have to track with me here, but hopefully it will all make sense in the end.

Yesterday, was my appointment with the ear, nose & throat doctor to see if he could shed any light on the cause of my dizziness and double vision. First they tested my hearing, which appears to be intact. Next the doctor questioned me, quite thoroughly, about my symptoms. He seemed to really listen to me and he even took notes. Then he prescribed a very low dose of Valium because it is suppposed to help combat dizziness and he ordered an MRI.

We were able to go immediately to the imaging center. I realize that thousands of people get MRIs every day, but as I've mentioned before, I've always been blessed with good health and therfore don't have a lot of experience with these types of tests.

So I go in and the nice man in blue scubs tells me to have a seat on the table. He then proceeds to explain that the test is really very simple, but that its very loud. He instructs me on inserting spongey earplugs in my ears. Then he continues to explain things to me, but I really couldn't hear very well (because he'd done such a good job teaching me how to put in the earplugs). He did mention several times that it would be LOUD.

I laid down and he inserted an IV. Not a pleasant experience due to the small, rolling, collapsing veins that I inherited from my mother. Next he clamped the metal cage-thingy over my head and tightened down the screws. I felt a little like Hannibal Lector, or maybe Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie The Man in the Iron Mask. He warned me again that it was going to be LOUD.

I had no idea what he meant by that, but I think I assumed it would be like a jet engine roar or maybe even a freight train. But if you've ever had an MRI, then you know that LOUD refers to repeated banging and thumping noises for 30-45 minutes. With an emphasis on repeated, banging, thumping and 30-45 minutes. At one point, the thumping had a pretty catchy rhythm that reminded me of the two times I've gone to see The Blue Man Group. So from then on, I just closed my eyes and imagined I was in Boston or Chicago at a Blue Man show. This is what was going on inside my head:



I realize that 3 minutes is a long time to watch some freaks pounding on PVC, but you kinda get the idea now of how I spent 45 minutes of my time yesterday.

And then that reminded me of the song Destroyer by the Kinks. The abridged version goes a little like this:
Dr. Dr. help me please, I know you'll understand...
There's a red, under my bed
And there's a little green man in my head
And he said, you're not goin' crazy, you're just a bit sad

I'm not really sure what a "red" under my bed is...probably some sort of drug reference... like maybe say...valium? And the men in my head were blue, not green, but overall the doctor told me that I'm not going crazy...or deaf or blind. He said I have Bell's Palsy...which is what we already knew. But he said its just going to take while to fully recover.

He sent me to an eye doctor today who did lots of "fun" tests (read: extremely painful drops and excruciating bright lights). And guess what? She said the same thing. "You have Bell's Palsy and its just going to take a while to recover."

So I'm relieved that there are no masses in my head or permanent injury to my eye. Now I just have to wait. Well, at least I have valium...

Even if it doesn't STOP the spinning, maybe it will take the edge off so that I don't mind the spinning quite as much. That should make the little blue men in my head happy.